Weighing in bluntly

I have spoken about my weight on here before. I have not disclosed how much I weigh because I am not pleased one bit about it. When I was slimmer as when I lived in London I was told I was fat or too big etc. I am naturally curvy and back then I was a 12/14. Now I am bigger. It takes a lot of weight increase to move up a dress size. I was also a lot more active.

I mentioned to older friend that I had gained she asked why and then turn around and said “…. why don’t you just stop eating…”. So yes I must become an anorexic to lose weight. Brilliant! I chose not to answer.

One of my hairdressers (I use 2 different ones – different salon vibes) lost loads of weight on weight watchers. We spoke and she was like, she never ate loads of food, she just ate the wrong foods, the quick fixes. Which is what I do. However I have been forcing myself to bring a packed lunch for work because what they serve in that canteen all smells the same and looks the same.

My friends brother is uber fit and when it comes to fitness he is on it. We had a blackberry messenger conversation the other day. ( it is nice he cares enough to always check on how I am doing ). It started off with me stating I was going to sell my cross trainer for a treadmill. He tells me the cross trainer is better as it works the whole body etc etc. Then the conversation moves onto what am I actually doing how am I getting on with my goals. He says “It’s not hard to lose weight……you need to train your brain too”. I get depressed sometimes and he rubbishes that and says Depression is caused by your own actions. He further says I am weak minded and that I always have excuses so either I am weak or do not want to lose weight!!!

Its like a skinny person telling me how shift excess. What so funny about those above is that they did not know me before weight took hold of me. I went to my cousins christening and got slated by some elders. I know Jamaicans just say it how they see it, no consideration or what. But damn!!! I never asked anyone anything. My cousins were like SoFro you need to trim down, you should have breastfed longer mek de baby suck off some of dat weight. It nah good fe you, you a spoil. If it was not for that man flirting with me I would have felt like a right ugly duckling. It is like people do not seem to realise that I see me each and every moment of the day. I know how my clothes fit.

I am trying to get healthy. I want to concentrate on improving my health than move onto weight loss. My cousin has lost so much weight. She said that she still eats the same amount of food but has changed what she eats. She has cut down on some things too.

So yeah that is what it is.

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  • Reply Deborah Jones

    First off thank you for being open with us. You didn’t have to be. I know exactly how you feel. I need to shed a few pounds but it is very hard. No one ever tells you that. Simple. It’s not fair for people to make such a point of it. It’s don’t make you less beautiful. Is who you are defined by your size? And that one who told you to stop eating should try it herself. such random statements are not needed.

    As for the whole you’re depression is caused by you blah blah. Yes we cause ourselves to be depressed sometimes but we don’t need someone else to tell us. You want to lose weight. It’s harder for others. Kicking your metabolism into gear takes massive effort. When celebs lose weight they have personal trainers who manage EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF THEIR FOOD AND FITNESS. who can afford that? Someone to plan your meals and all that jazz? next time someone tells you something stupid like that tell them to pay. I am trying to run but my body is heavy. it will take me time to shift the extra stones im carrying. but don’t lose hope. do what you can. get someone who can properly support you.

    I’m rambling. Sorry. but don’t you give up. I know your battle. you’re no less beautiful cause of it.

    It is what it is.

    September 7, 2009 at 11:19 pm
  • Reply Blackbutterfly

    It gets on my nerves when people feel so free to make comments about your weight. Like you say do they not realise that we all look at ourselves in the mirror everyday and see how we look?!
    Do they think they are helping you to loose weight by making those comments if anything it will make you feel worse about yourself then perhaps eating rubbish to comfort yourself.

    I too am having struggles with my weight having gone up about 3 sizes in the past 3 years. This is down to eating crap because I have felt like crap. Comfort/binge eating to make myself feel better when in actual fact it makes you feel worse.
    I have joined the gym and have been going to classes for the past month. I feel a bit better but now realise its the food part that has to change. Apparently its actually 70% food that helps you loose weight and not exercising….LONG! I love my food.

    Anyway its good you have the support of the personal trainer. That should keep you motivated and he should be able to give you tips.

    One thing I find that helps is to keep a food diary note everything single thing down you eat in a day. That way you find it harder to eat bad things when it is written in black and white.

    Good luck!

    September 8, 2009 at 9:41 am
  • Reply SoFrolushes

    Thank you guys. You know what I am just going take things as they come. Weight is just one fo those things that can creep up on you. I bought a leather jackey in the winter sales. My arms are too big for it. So hopefully I can slim them down enough to fit in. I have incentives. lol. bless

    September 11, 2009 at 2:19 pm
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